Control Your Relationships

A relationship with the right person can be a wonderful experience. However, a relationship with the wrong person can lead to years of heartache, emotional and even physical damage. At the beginning of a relationship, "the honeymoon stage" it is difficult to tell what kind of person you are dating. Most relationships being with nothing but joy and excitement. Each partner trying to gather information about the other without coming across as an FBI agent.

Unfortunately in many relationship, once the "honeymoon stage" ends you are left with a person you did not expect. A damaging relationship can hurt you as well as your loved ones and the way you view love in general. A relationship that is supposed to be loving and supportive can quickly turn into a fatal attraction when you find yourself with a controlling partner.

Although there are many "bad" types that we encounter on a regular basis, some maybe be more easy to avoid than others. Many "controllers" are very good at hiding their faults. We all know to avoid people that seem abusive or unstable, but what if you are unaware of a person's instabilities?

There are a few ways you can decipher a controller in a relationship. A controller is a person who cause social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship. These people have personality traits that cause damage, which they simply accept as being a part of who they are. They often learn these traits from relatives and other family members at a young age and do not view them as problematic.

The following list provides an outline on a controllers behavior, if you encounter any of these indicators it is best to end the relationship immediately:

Rough treatment - a controller will hurt you on purpose. If your partner physically hurts you by hitting, kicking, pushing, pulling your hair or twisting your arm, EVEN ONCE, leave. The act will repeat itself if they know they can get away with it.

Quick attachment - Controllers are quick to say "I Love You". Because of their shallow emotions they will use words and affection to attach themselves to you quickly and make you feel obligated to stay. You may get so overwhelmed by the constant attention and affection that you will miss the fact that it doesn't make sense. Normal, healthy people require a long period of time to build a commitment and future together.

Anger - Controllers have bad tempers. If your partner gets angry and does scary things like drive to fast, break things or get into fights it is a sign that they do not have control of their emotions, and that temper will soon be turned in your direction.

Put-downs - A controller will deflate your self confidence, they will pick out your flaws and make you feel unintelligent and unattractive. they do this to keep you close to them. They think that if you have no confidence you will not have the guts to leave, which turns out to be correct in most cases.